Analogies

“I signed a slip requesting more information,” Stokes explained, “and several weeks later two nice little white guys knocked at my door in Chicago. I listened; my questions were answered. The questions about life were like a brick of Swiss cheese and the gospel filled in most of the holes. Joining the Church was the most important thing I have ever done in my life.” Article from the Church Newsroom site.

One of the tendencies I've noticed about the Church, rather the people in it actually, is the tendency towards cheesy analogies. (I'll just say the pun was intended.) And anyone who has been in the Church knows what I'm talking about. Perfect example: just this past Sabbath, we had branch conference. Our stake president was there, and compared sharing the gospel to going fishing... (Because you have to use the right lure basically. He even brought a couple different lures from his tackle box as visual aids.)

My favorite however was from "The R.M." If you haven't seen it, imagine every stereotype you can think of about Mormons, and put it into an LDS comedy about a return missionary. And what does the mission president say to him about dating?

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't be an octopus with a testimony."

What does that even MEAN?!

(You know you've heard a good one when you can't figure it out.)